What happens when the belief system that once defined your entire life quietly falls apart? In this deeply personal reflection, Sandra shares her experience of leaving a high-demand religion, navigating a decade-long existential crisis, and slowly rebuilding a life rooted in self-trust, peace, and authenticity. If you’ve ever wondered who you are without certainty, rules, or borrowed meaning, this story offers reassurance, hope, and a reminder that life after religion isn’t empty—it’s wide open.

After 37 years of marriage, I can confirm: it’s not all candlelight and cuddles. Sometimes it’s conflict, counseling, and climbing into a dumpster. Here’s what lasting love really looks like.

Your inner mean girl is all about judgment. Whether you are judging yourself, judging other people, or judging the judgments of others, your inner mean girl is at the root of it all. And judgment is at the root of human suffering. It’s the reason you feel so miserable! But you don’t have to be miserable. When you understand where your inner mean girl originated and how to master that voice inside, you can begin to cultivate self-compassion, embrace your emotions, and live a more empowered life.

Life is a practice of prioritizing and balancing all the things while keeping yourself and your needs at the top of the list. It's learning to manage your self-doubt and increase your self-love. It's connecting and creating relationships that stand the test of time. It's giving yourself the grace you so freely give to others. And when you do that, you'll be prepared to turn life's lemons into a lemonade stand of resilience every time they are thrown your way!

Do you hate your body? If so, you're not alone. In fact, according to the research, you're pretty normal! But the chances are that your body is probably pretty normal, too. And maybe it's time to shift your self-talk to something more nourishing.

My biggest regret is that I learned at an early age to suppress my emotions. Sound familiar? I became a master of performance rather than a master of self. I focused on self-correction rather than self-connection, believing that if I showed up perfectly--or at least, what I had been taught was perfect--then I'd earn the love of those around me. And for some reason, their love seemed more important than my own love. But guess what? It's impossible to suppress your emotions, because when you do, your body expresses them for you as symptoms.

I think we've all been brainwashed. Everyday, I work with women who feel worthless. They spend their time questioning their abilities and wondering if they'll ever be enough. It takes months...or even years...of working together for them to begin seeing themselves as a valuable member of society. I get where they're coming from. I used to feel the same way about myself. But I've spent the past decade unlearning a lifetime of messages that were constantly reminding me I needed to do more, have more, and be more. Looking at where those messages originated is why I've come to the conclusion that we were all brainwashed.