You Can't Hate Yourself To Change

radical self-love Mar 21, 2022

I started dieting when I was in Junior high. 

I wanted to look like my best friend, who was 4'11" and weighed barely 100 pounds...on a heavy day! I'm not sure why this felt so important. I was 5'6" and only weighed 140 pounds. But something in me said--You're fat!--and I listened.

I tried all the fads...grapefruit diet, boiled egg diet, cabbage name it! If it existed in the early '80s, I probably tried it!

But none of these diets actually did anything except start me on the path to hating myself and wishing I could look different. Those feelings followed me through my teenage years, into my childbearing years, and continue to rear their ugly heads, even today. (Those self-critical thoughts can be a b*tch!)

Fortunately, I know a lot more now than I did then.

I know that my weight has nothing to do with my worth.

I know that I can choose to believe whatever I want about myself.

I know that my thoughts and beliefs ultimately create my feelings.

And I know that radical self-love and acceptance is the most effective way to change.

For years, I believed that if I hated myself enough, I'd finally have what it took to change.  Have you ever felt that way, too?

If you hate yourself enough, you'll finally lose that extra 20 pounds.

If you're hard enough on yourself, you'll quit procrastinating.

If you beat yourself up, you'll get serious about your goals.

LIES!! All of them!

If you really want to change, I have a secret you're gonna want in on. It's one of the most powerful things I've ever learned.


I know it can be hard to believe. But it's true.

I mean, think about it.

When you hate something, how do you treat it? 

If you're like most people, you avoid it as much as possible. And when you do interact with it, you're probably treating it with disdain. You're certainly not motivated to spend extra time and resources to make it something you like...because if you hate it, you probably don't want to like it!

That's what happens when you hate yourself, too.

You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. 

You keep your financial records at arm's length.

You procrastinate your work.

You spend as little time as possible on personal care.

You allow others to treat you poorly and tolerate toxic relationships.

You don't buy anything nice for yourself...and if you do, you feel guilty about it.

Imagine the difference if you loved yourself--I mean, REALLY loved yourself. RADICALLY loved yourself. How would that change the way you feel? How would it change the things you do?

 I want you to throw out everything you know about self-esteem. Forget about being good enough. Because I'm on a mission to help you see yourself as an amazing, fatastical, glittering, diamond-in-the-rough!

There's nothing "okay" about you!


That's what radical self-love is all about--unlearning deeply ingrained beliefs about your inadequacies and inferiorities and replacing them with confidence and appreciation for your abilities. 

Radical self-love does not say, "I'm enough. You're enough. We're all good."

Radical self-love says, "I'm FREAKING AMAZING...and so are you! Let's cheer each other on!"

Radical self-love means capitalizing on your assets and being willing to fight for what you want. It means standing up for yourself when you deserve recognition and doing everything in your power to achieve your dreams.

Radical self-love does not come naturally...but with a little bit of practice and a lot of self-acceptance, it can be developed by anyone!

Ready to get started? Grab my freebie, "Relax...You're Already Perfect: A Simple Guide to Developing Radical Self-Love and Acceptance".

Today's the day you begin your journey toward loving yourself. It's time.

You are so loved!


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